


One feeling per moment, please

by Nesloga



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Gen, Genderbend, Thorin secretly assigns every moment a emotion, fem!Bilbo, it makes things easier, or so he says
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:54:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nesloga/pseuds/Nesloga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some snippets of what Thorin has to go through. The good, the bad, and the annoying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One feeling per moment, please

**Author's Note:**

> I felt a need to write Fem!Bilbo with Thorin labeling each moment with a emotion, because that's how Thorin rolls.

**Exasperation:**

Thorin was going to have a talk with Gandalf, it was going to be a long and tedious conversation that would lead to  _answers_. Because Thorin was not happy, in fact, he was the opposite. He had just found out that his Burglar was a Burglar- _es._ And Gandalf, the meddling and brain addled wizard, never thought to mention that particular fact. 

**Jealousy:**

Thorin would not have a squishy she-Hobbit about, especially one that constantly babied Ori. Ori was a fine dwarf, one that didn’t need to be babied. And it wasn’t like Thorin ever stared forlornly into the distance because she wasn’t at his side (making sure he was well fed, fixing his braids, cooing over something or another, smiling in a simply _dazzling_ way). Thorin would not stand for it, Ori was one of his Company; carefully (stop laughing Fili) picked, he was a warrior and considered a man, he did not need to be fussed over so. And if anyone was going to treated differently it should be him, he was a king after all. 

**Embarrassment:**

Kili and Fili could make all the jokes in the world about it; they could laugh about it until they were blue, however, they were not going to make any more remarks about _Courting_ in his, or Bilbo’s, presence. He would not have it, he was the King Under the Mountain, and if that didn’t sway them, then he would simply remind them that he was also their _uncle_.  

**Trepidation:**

Thorin reminded himself that he was king, again (and it was really getting annoying how often he had to remind someone of that fact, you’d think The Company, Bilbo, and Gandalf would realize it. But, _no_. Because as Thranduil had kindly pointed out, he wasn’t the King Under the Mountain, because he had no mountain. The bastard.) and as king, he shouldn’t be tip toeing around Bilbo like a wee dwarfling that was caught skipping forging lessons. He had no reason to fear Bilbo; he was a king, a dwarf of the line of Durin, taller then Bilbo, and faster then the wee Burglar. The last one was the most important, because that meant he could outrun the she-Hobbit if the need ever arose.

**Shock:**

The moment that Thorin realizes that Bilbo is really a _she_ and not a _he,_ is the moment that he trips over a tree root and almost goes barreling into one of the ponies (he didn’t, just for the record, because he is the King Under the Mountain and that would be unfitting of one of his station). It is the moment that Bilbo makes the off hand comment about being teased for dressing as a lad as a young lass. And then everything _clicks_ ; because Bilbo had been mother-henning them all since the get go and Thorin was really starting to question the Burglar’s masculinity. But this, this, makes sense in a terrible way. It explains why the hobbit had known had to sew so expertly, how he had been a excellent cook, how his eyelashes were just a tad long for a males, how his hips swayed _just_ so when he walk- never mind. The point is, Thorin did not trip into one of the ponies. 

**Elation:**

When Dis sauntered into the throne room of Eredor with Bilbo behind her Thorin could swear he heard a click as everything settled into place. His dear sister had finished explaining Dwarven costumes to his sweet Burglar and now everything was perfect. He was King Under the Mountain (with a mountain, thank you _very_ much Thranduil), his kingdom was slowly being rebuilt, Kili and Fili were going to live, and Bilbo was in front of him. Even if she was frowning heavily at him. Everything was absolutely perfect, Thorin just had to tell himself that repeatedly as Bilbo unleashed her ire on him for not explaining that she was all but married to him now; he would sooth her later with tender words until she agreed to be his queen. But until then Thorin would enjoy the sight of his hobbit huffing cutely with rage. 


End file.
